Sandlander

The party will,of course, be virtual. In the real world my birthday will be marked just be dinner this evening with my ex-wife and a Skype messaging session with my daughter in Maastricht.

But the invitees to a virtual celebration would, I think, include a couple of contemporaries at least. Doing rather well of late in Germany are Joachim Gauck and Otto Rehagel.

The latter is a legendary football trainer who at the age of seventy-four was brought back to take charge of the unfortunate Hertha Berlin soccer team, to motivate a squad whose memory of victory had almost been eradicated by a streak of twelve games without a win. Yesterday they won. Sweet!

As for Joachim Gauck, born as I was in 1940... the former pastor from Rostock and one of the leaders of opposition to the regime of the German Democratic Republic will in a couple of weeks be elected as the next Head of State of the Federal Republic. How heartening to see a man of my age getting a new five-year deal!

A further manifestation of wrinkly-power is the selection of Engelbert Humperdinck (born in 1936) to represent the United Kingdom at the Eurovision Song Contest. Those inclined to mock maintain that the hope is that he will garner nul points so that the the BBC will not have to bear the costs of staging the next edition of the extraordinary event.

The other places at the tables of my virtual birthday bash would be reserved for readers of my blog and for the writers of the blogs to which I subscribe. Now that guest list would certainly make for some interesting conversations.

Then there would be the matter of my virtual present to myself. I find that an automobile would be a fittingly contrarian indulgence, given that I am a non-driver. But the Jaguar built in the year I was born must surely be recognized as a thing of wondrous beauty...

It would have to have the appropriate license plate...

From the passenger seat I would wave regally to those who stop to watch our progress at the side of the roads... roads which in my virtually perfect world would be mainly in the south of France.